The College of Ed.

It is a nasty habit to imagine how people will look and act when they’re old. Walking through UCF’s new college of education complex, I could not help but imagine all the beautiful girls morphing over the years into shrivelled and bitter kindergarten teachers. The bitter comes from dealing with stupid parents and school beaurocracy. The shrivelled, however, is due to the lascivious lifestyle the average school teacher lives. But the school teacher’s biology maintains an impressive homeostasis: the intense consumption of alcohol and unprotected sex works to decrease the lifespan, while the genuine joy children bring to the workplace adds on years, thus acheiving an amazing human balance.